Finally - the stress knitting production!

Toasty bear with an entralac neck warmer.





These are a wrap I am working on using our own yarn that I dyed this summer.












This is naked bear to give you some perspective. Plus I had no one else to model for me. :)









Doesn't he look nice toasty? This is a hat and a kerchief scarf for a dear sister.

Another day at the hospital

Hi
So yesterday Dh and I went back to the emergency room. He was having some chest pains that wouldn't go away. Our lesson from last time was don't wait. So we didn't. We went in and they ran tests and because their protocol is a 24 hour watch with two more blood tests he spent the night.
Today is our youngest's birthday and Dh usually bakes the cakes. Not this time. He is not thrilled about this. Things are looking good so far. He just has to pass the stress test and he can come home.
Keep in your prayers please. He needs to remember that slow progress is okay.
I will check back soon...at some point I plan to post pics of all the stress-relief knitting I have been doing.

Updating - Some days getting out of bed Hazard

So we made it back to the surgeon last Monday and he removed the other drain tube. DH felt much more normal. That night the children were able to give him a hug good night. It was very touching to see for both dad and child. That week progressed fairly normally. We had another follow-up visit later in the week with the kidney doc. That didn't go as easily as we were hoping. We need to get more blood tests done.
Eating is getting better. DH is still finding out what he can eat and what doesn't work so well. I shared with friends that each milestone he makes where he is doing something that he always used to do, I become exhausted. It is an interesting phenomena.
Last Saturday I was trying to do a little too much too quickly and burned my foot. So now I am a little gimpy. It is frustrating but will get better.
I was kidnapped this week by two wonderful lady friends in a true "sister" maneuver. They planned with the family and took me out to a movie and dinner. It was wonderful. It took me a while to stop thinking about what was going on at home and just enjoy myself in the moment. I did manage. It felt very nice to have someone taking care of me. :)
I will begin and finish work on an article for Permaculture Activist. Not sure if they will publish it but I want to try. I have been looking at taking some permaculture classes but don't know how we can save up for that.
I hope you all have a warm and cozy weekend!

A little better all the time

Things are improving - slowly. But improvement is good and speed is relative. One drain tube was removed at our surgeon visit on Monday. We go back and hopefully the other one will be ready to come out next Monday.
His appetite is returning in increments. He lost a significant amount of weight. What I notice is that he has lost a lot a muscle tone. His arms look really skinny to me - not that they were big to begin with but they look smaller to me.
The children are doing okay. The 12yr old son had a melt down on Saturday but we worked through it. Not sure what was the cause. The 10 yr old son hasn't quite pulled his head out of the sand yet. He is trying - they all are trying really hard. We all have good days and bad days. This is how it goes when you experience a major life change. This is that marking moment in the children's lives. It will be things before the surgery and things after the surgery.
On some of the trips to and from the hospital, I remembered the times my dad was in the hospital. Other than just before he died I know of two other times. I know that he had his appendix out when they lived in Detroit. He also had hernia surgery. The hernia surgery I remember. What I remember is before he went in to the hospital. He was sitting on the kitchen floor and couldn't get up. I remember when he came home from the hospital because we decorated the house with a welcome home sign and hid to surprise him when he came in. I don't remember how long he was in the hospital or how much Mom went up to see him while he was there. I wondered how my mom felt during those time. Was she as torn as I was about being in one place and missing either her husband or her children? It was hard for me to leave the hospital but it was good to see the children before bed or at least in the morning.

As time goes on I am sure to hear more from the children about how they viewed this significant event in their lives.

Blessings on you all!

Trying to find the good

So yesterday's post was quite depressing, huh? I still feel like my fingernails are just barely holding me onto the edge of the cliff. In the spirit of trying to find something good, as in "Count Your Blessing" or "There must have been something good", we will try to find the blessings that I can remember in all of this.
First - this is the first time since possibly grade school when I have had such supportive and helpful friends. They were the first people I let know that Larry was in the hospital and their first question was how can we help. Not only was that the first question but when I stated how they could help, they said okay and just gave what was asked for. Isn't that amazing? I don't know how many times people will say how can we help and you state a direct answer and then receive - oh well, I am not sure about that.
Not so this time. This time everything I have asked for, I have received. God is truly wonderful that way, especially in such a messy place.
I am thankful that God also gifted me with the most awesome daughter. She has not only stepped up to the plate, she has continued to hit line drives and get things done. She has become my support - for good or bad - the person who discusses things with me because I can't discuss them with the dh at the moment. She is working with me and the younger ones to get a routine going so they are pitching in more and lining up behind her at the plate.
It is still hard and I know it will continue to be hard while he goes through the long recovery. But at least I know that people have got my back. God has placed them there just for me. :)

Happy New Year?

My New Year's day was spent in the hospital. My dh had a septic nasty looking gall bladder that needed to come out. I was told several times that he could have died if we had waited one more day. As it was his kidneys were shutting down by the time he went into surgery and then his system suffered another shock when his oxygen saturation level dropped to zero after they put him under.
He also had a pool of blood in his liver. So first they took care of the gall bladder. Then a series of tests were run because he wasn't recooperating well. This finally led to another drain being put in for the pool of blood in the liver. After 12 days he finally came home with drain tubes still attached.

Now we have to learn to adjust to this new life. For it is definitely different than it was before and things need to change. The hard part is that most of it is falling on me at the moment while he recovers. Things I used to be able to share I can't at the moment either because he is not awake or because they are stressers that he shouldn't deal with right now.
My oldest daughter has been wonderful but if we are to survive it needs to be a team effort. It can't fall on me or her or just one person. We all need to pitch in. My 12 yr old son is doing a wonderful job of stepping up and taking some ownership of certain things. My 10 yr old isn't there yet and I am not sure how to get him there. My second daughter is trying.

Right now it is just very hard. I keep praying and asking for guidance and peace and courage. There are moments when I feel none of those things and it feels like I will never have them. We must trudge along as best we can even if it feels like we are moving fast but going no where through thick quick sand. Hoping to be posting better news soon.

Unwelcome Guests

We moved the corn into the shed about a week ago. Our corn cracker just ran out of energy so I just decided that it would be easier to put it in the shed which is more on my way to milk the cow and not locked. The shed is not the most secure place.
Thankfully 5 am is too early for most pesky visitors to the shed. Afternoon is not however. :( The mouse and I have met in one way or another almost daily. We tend to scare the beejezus out of each other every time. The first time I made the mistake of not closing the corn bag well enough so that when I reached to scoop out some corn the scared mouse ran up my arm and made a flying leap to the corner of the shed. I think we both screamed. The next day I headed out for the afternoon milking assured that I had secured the bag better. I stepped into the shed reached into the bag and was pulling out a scoop when the mouse decided to run from one corner of the shed to the other across my foot. Again, I am amazed at the automatic responses of the human body. My foot with no conscious direction from me flung itself forward as soon as the mouse reached it helping the mouse to it's destination a little faster.
Our third encounter was another mouse stuck in bag only this time it ended up in the scoop and then in the bucket. No corn just mouse running around in the bucket trying to find a way out. The way out was through the door by way of tossing him OUT of the bucket. Thankfully my husband took pity on me after laughing so hard tears came to his eyes - and left the shed door open the next day with the cat posted outside the door. Haven't seen the mouse since!